some good news

I got the job! Now all I've got to do is sort out my very confusing holiday. I have to do a half day on a Saturday, and normal hours 8.30-5.30 during the week with Thursdays off. I've got to try and figure out what to do about Truck Festival! aaargh

light at the end of the tunnel

I'm supposed to look for at least 3 jobs every week as part of my 'contract' with the Job Centre. It's become slightly nauseating for me to continually apply for jobs that I know I'm not going to get when the Job Centre aren't excatly giving me much in return. Last time I went to sign on I tried to tell the woman I didn't see the point of going there every fortnight if I'm not going to be given any money. She somehow persuaded me to keep going because they'll pay my National Insurance for me while I'm unemployed. She said I couldn't retire if I hadn't paid enough. As if that will happen! She said it in a slightly malicious way and looked at me as if I was useless. I absolutely HATE going to the Job Centre. I don't want to sound like a snob but I see/hear some of the people going in there to do the same thing as me and I feel so out of place. Ach well, I've got another interview arranged with The Company on Thursday so hopefully I won't have to be going much longer. Yes, I seem to be feeling OK about the job again now. Let's see if it lasts until Wednesday night.

a minor setback

Yesterday's interview didn't go ahead as planned. It's my own fault. I've spent the last 2 days in my PJs and feeling a bit off. Had a complete panic yesterday morning and in a fit of madness phoned them up and said I couldn't make it. I don't know if I was just being wussy or if the bad feeling I had actually means something. I know this job isn't ideal for me but I thought maybe I cuold just do it for a little while for the money. I'm still so desperate to move house. I keep looking at all the property pages and websites until I remember we can't actually afford it yet! Very annoying.

On a plus side tho, I have had quite a relaxing couple of days (if you ignore the fact that I've not been feeling 100%). Many cups of tea have been consumed and Mr M very kindly went and bought some biscuits and macaroni cheese last night. Mmmmm. Today I have spent several hours watching Take That on You Tube. I feel a bit weird now! Kind of nostalgic but also a bit melancholy. I'd like to think I was so full of hope back when Take That were my favourite band (11 or 12 years old). I do remember being very indecisive about what I wanted to do when I was older. That certainly hasn't changed with time! Over the years I entertained the ideas of being:

• arcaeologist - I used to love it when my Dad would dig up a patch of the garden and we would unearth bits of old pottery. I say old.... probably only from the 60s when the house was first built but that's quite exciting to an 8 year old!!
• nurse - when I first started watching Casualty and ER I thought this would be a great thing to get into.... then I thought about being puked on by patients and all the night shifts. No ta.
• mehcanic - I had a lovely pair of yellow dungarees when I was about 7 or 8 so I used to play mechanic in the back garden. Maybe I didn't seriously think of it as a career but I certainly loved helping my Dad out with all the sort of boyish jobs around the house. I used to love helping him decorate. My Mum would always make us wear plastic bags over our hair so we didn't get covered in paint - we must have looked a sight!
• singer - I think everone goes through one of these phases. When I was thinking about college and around my GCSEs I started learning the guitar and trying to write my own songs. I was OK with lyrics but I never did get the hang on the guitar properly! Truth be told my hands are too small for a full size :(
• storm chaser - Yes seriously. I had an obsession with watching TV programmes and films about extreme weather conditions and wanted to be one of those crazy gits who goes chasing off across fields in Texas after tornados. Never mind the fact that I lived in Dorset, England! I still wish I had gone on to do Geography A Level but I guess it's too late now!
• web designer - This was the real serious one. At college I got all my best marks back for designing page layouts and thought somehow I could translate that into a career. I taught myself HTML and went to study Computing at uni.... turns out that wasn't enough. After my second attempt at uni (this time studying Digital Media) I realised I didn't have the commitment and motivation to get into such a competitive field.

So what do I want to do now? Truth be told I honestly don't know. I think I'll just be happy to finish my degree with the OU and then see what happens. Story of my life :)

The Grand Plan

Goal#1 Find a job. Any job! Although preferably not in a shop. Being 25 years old and unemployed doesn't have such a great ring to it. I dread that question at parties and family gatherings: "So what do you do?". Answer: not very much at the moment.

Goal#2 Stay in said job long enough to use it as useful experience and a Ladder To Success! I've seen a couple of jobs I would've liked to apply for (charities administrator, events fundraiser, admin support for NHS Direct or Hampshire Police) but I don't have enough experience yet. Ultimately I want to do a job that is useful to and helping the public, rather than just helping some money grabbing multinational company to make an even bigger profit.

Goal#3 Finish my degree. I'm 1/3 of the way there now and I haven't lost my mind so it looks like distance learning is the way to go for me. I've just completed my first course with the Open University, AZX103 An Introduction to the Humanities, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. As with any course work I was at times pulling my hair out and thinking "why oh why did I choose to give myself this much work?!" but looking back now I can honestly say I loved the course. As it was my first with the OU I decided to go for one of their online courses, and all but our first tutorials were conducted via a message board. Our tutor Trish was great, very understanding when we had any extra-curricular problems (I had a nasty virus in February which effectively had me laid up in bed for 2 weeks unable to do ANYTHING), super quick at marking and returning our assignments, and a veritable fountain of knowledge about seemingly everything! She fell ill towards the end of the course and we had to have a new tutor for our last assignments. Pam was very helpful in the last few weeks of the course. So what now? Well, I now have to do 2 'level 2' and 2 'level 3' courses to complete a BA (hons) Humanities. I'm going to be so happy when I finally have that degree certificate in my hand! It's been a long hard road......and I'm only half way there so far! Here's the plan for my other OU courses:

• Feb 2008 A210 Approaching Literature (already registered and halfway through the reading list - go me!)


• Oct 2008 or Feb 2009 DA204 Understanding Media


• Oct 2009 or Feb 2010 AA316 The Nineteenth Century Novel (can't wait to do this, the reading list includes some of my very favourite books and I managed to find one of the course textbooks in Oxfam for £1.99)


• Oct 2010 or Feb 2011 AA310 Film and Television History OR


• AA300 Europe: Culture and Identities in a Contested Environment

I had originally planned to study towards BA (hons) Humanities with English Literature and Media Studies, meaning I would have to do 2 media and 2 literature courses. Having since discovered AA300 I really want to do that one now! I couldn't possible give up on AA316 so it looks like AA310 will be the casualty. This is the great thing about studying with the OU, you can pick and choose your courses as you go along. The problem I'd had with 'conventional' degree courses was only being interested in maybe half the units on a set syllabus.

Goal#4 Learn shorthand. This will prove very useful in goal #2 and having only started learning it from a book on Friday I think I'm doing quite well already. Useful to have an ex-journalism student for a fiance, he can help me out when I get stuck, and is even talking of taking the exams when I do (he never entered for them when he was at uni).

Goal#5 Do some kind of word processing course and get a certificate to prove it. Having used computers on an almost daily basis for goodness knows how long I'm pretty confident, and halfway to learning to touch type. Just saying this isn't good enough for some employers, though. I'm looking at doing either the RSA Intermediate or the CLAIT course. Just got to figure out where/when I can do it now!

So there you have it, my Grand Plan to Sorting Out My Life. Not too much to ask is it?!

progress already

What this morning looked like yet another dead end has miraculously transformed into something that looks rather promising. Another of those dreaded 'telephone interviews' out of the way (why do all companies seem so keen on these nowadays?! what's wrong with just a face to face interview - they're going to make me do one afterwards anyway!). They are pleased to inform me that I have been successful with this stage of my application and would like to invite me to a recruitment thingy on Wednesday! Oh what joy. As if a monkey couldn't do the job blindfolded with a whole wheelbarrow full of bananas in front of him to distract. Still, mustn't grumble. Maybe that 'luxury' 2 bed house is possible after all.

All I have to worry about now is what to wear to the more conventional interview on Wednesday now. And not spending the next 48 hours in a state of panic. Worrying about panicking?! Surely not.

introducing...

This blog is here to chart the progress (rapid or otherwise) of one downhearted 25 year old in Making Her Way.

• friendly but shy
• enthusiastic but untested
• carefree but full of worry
• excited but tired

It's not all bad, though. Soon I will be newly wed and very happy. I hope somehow everything will start to fall into place.